Chains

Happy New Year.  For those of you who are regular readers of my blog, you know that I use titles of Beatles songs as titles for my blogs…they are my favorite band and its something I started doing a while ago…last year, I tried to switch to U2 song titles, but as you can see, I’m back to the fab four.

I had a pretty intense ministry related day yesterday, and since it kept me up most of the night, I thought this would be the most healthy way to process it.  I have recently begun working with a local ministry that focuses on ministering to victims of sex trafficking.  Let me begin by explaining what sex trafficking is:  when a person is taken away from home, family, and/or country against their will and sold into prostitution. Houston is the number one city in the US for illegal sex trafficking.  Yesterday, I went out with a team to visit some spas and pray with some of the ladies. One of the spas had girls who were all from Thailand. As we were walking in, a “customer” was walking out.  He was a tall man, stocky build, in his 30′s maybe early 40′s.  Dressed like he was running errands to Target or out grabbing a quick lunch; shorts, flip-flops, and a button up shirt.  Drove a nice Dodge Ram truck with an extended cab.  Oh, and did I fail to mention how polite he was to us….as we walked in, he held the door open for all four of us and smiled.  A perfect gentleman.  I hope you have a picture of this man in your head and realize that this guy looks no different from hundreds of other guys you probably know.  He could have been a dad, a husband, a church member, an executive…the list goes on and on.  One thing is certain….all people are weak and sin knows no boundaries.  I’m not trying to pick on this guy or single him out, but instead I am trying to show you that it’s not the nasty, sleazy, sinful pagans that we often equate to these institutions, but more times than not, it’s the typical guy next door.

When the girls found out we were there, they were very excited and all came out to the lobby to greet us.  While this is partly culture related, I also know they were happy to know somebody was there to pray for them.  There are two girls that I can’t get out of my mind.  They told me their names, but they were Thai names, and I can’t remember how to pronounce them.  One was very young, definitely under the age of 20 and she was new to the spa.  Underneath the layers of make-up and  polished smile was a frightened young girl.  When Jesus said the eyes were the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22), He must have been talking about this girl…her eyes told us of the hurt, emptiness, and fear she felt.  I couldn’t stop looking at them.

One of the things we are supposed to do when we visit the spas is to gather as much info as we can about where the girls came from, and how long they have been here.  This helps us find out which ones are there illegally and which ones are there of their own free will.  I will be going to Thailand this summer, so I use this as a way to get into a discussion about where they came from and their home…One of the girls told me she moved here some time ago, but she will be going back for a visit this summer.  When those words came from her mouth, I immediately knew she was lying….again, it was the hurt I saw in her eyes.  She can’t go back because she was kidnapped.  Brought here against her will, and held here, forced to allow men to do as they please.  As we left, I hugged her and told her that I really do hope someday she can go back.  She dropped her head and simply nodded….I was broken.  It was all I could do not to cry when I got back to the car.

As I continue in obedience with this ministry, I will be posting as a means to process what is happening in my heart.  My prayer for you is that God will move you to get involved in what is happening in YOUR city.  Pray for the girls that I write about and for those involved in the ministry.  Pray for us as we visit the spas, we need protection both physically and emotionally.  If you have any questions or would like more information, please email me at tammimallory@gmail.com  and I will try to answer as best I can.

Until next time…

Boast No More (quote from Piper)

For the past several months, I have been asking God to teach me more about humility.  In addition to humbling me, which he does without my asking, he is actually teaching me what it looks like lived out.  Here is what i’m finding….

When we live out Acts 1:8 and The Great Commission, God will be glorified.  Why them, do we think it necessary to shout to the world via tweets, blogs, social network status’, etc that God just did something cool in your life?  He is God, and those things are happening all over the place everyday….without you and me.  He certainly doesn’t need to be bragged on, nor does he need to be called cool…lately, I almost find that offensive.  Its one thing to tell somebody what God is doing in your life…that is giving testimony, and we are commanded to do that.  In my opinion, that is all we are to do…I know a lot of missionaries serving overseas right now with countless stories of what they see God doing all around them.  How do I know God is moving in their places of service?  Because they advertise it?  No.  Because I know God and I know He moves…and I know the character of these men and women and I know that because of the godly character they portray, God is using them and as He uses them they are changing to be more like Him…and THAT’S what will win the world!

We are a very excitable culture.  We see a homeless man begging for food and we have just come from Chili’s with half of our meal in a styrophone container in the backseat….we come up to the stoplight and roll down the window, hand him the food, and all of the sudden we start feeling real good….we give it a title, “love in action” or whatever the cool thing is to say at the moment….we post what we did on line, we talk about it with our friends, and we hide behind phrases like” God is so awesome”, etc…  Yes.  He is….and we are not.  And when we are living as we should be, these things will be happening on a daily basis, and He will begin transforming YOU to be more Christ-like.  This will be evident without you ever having to tell a soul…or at least if its done in humility, it should be.  He doesn’t need acolades, he needs prayer and praise to be done privately, or in a setting with like-minded believers.

Do we really think were going to win the world by “bragging on God”?  Is it really God were bragging on, or are we just tooting our own horn?  Keep in mind, all the world wants to see is us changed and consistent with the life we say we lead.  They want our testimony as to what has happened to us personally….funny I don’t see anything on the internet saying “I once was a drug addicted junkie, but now Jesus had changed my life”….or…. “I still fall into temptation over (you fill in the blank) but God remains faithful to deliver me”…. THIS is what changes lives.  THIS is what the lost need to hear.

God doesn’t need to be bragged on….He needs your transparency.  And to me, this is real humility.

This is by no way pointed at any particular person or group, I have done the very thing I am talking about several times, but as I said in the beginning…I have been asking God to show me what real humility looks like, and this is what I am seeing.  Thanks for reading…sorry if I stepped on toes (or egos)…guess I should be used to that by now.

Deep In The Heart (pt 1)

I’ve found that the best way to process and decipher what I am learning and what God is showing me is to write about it.  This blog is about two weeks overdue, and will have to come in two parts as there is a lot of information I want to give.  My prayer is that you too will need some time to process this:

I have been doing an in-depth study on the book of Jeremiah for several weeks now.  This morning, our teacher made some points that have set my mind in a whirlwind all day…as we begin chapter 12, we see Jeremiah basically questioning why God is allowing all the bad in the world to continue…why is the wicked prospering? He is pleading with God to judge them and even blames them for harming the land (v.4).  Before I continue, it is important to understand that God chose Israel to be His people and these were the very people in which Jeremiah was irritated with.  He couldn’t understand why God would allow those whom He chose to ‘get away’ with the things that they were doing…..Lets make this applicable for 2010…have you ever done this?  I have.

Often times, my line of thinking is just like Jeremiah’s.  Wondering why God allows for things that are happening in the world today:  abortion, same-sex marriages, corruption in government, wars, celebrities and athletes getting rich while people all over the world starve and die….the list could go on.  I imagine you could add several things to the list yourself.

As I discuss God’s response…and I will challenge you to look deep within your heart and ask God to speak to you if need be.  In verse 5 God says:  “If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses?  And if in the land of peace, In which you have trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the flood plain of the Jordan?”

God being omniscient is basically telling Jeremiah in verse 5 that he (Jeremiah) hasn’t seen anything  yet.  If what is happening is bothering him this much now (if you have run with the footmen), how does he expect to handle what is yet to come (how can you contend with horses)?  God knew that what Israel was doing was terrible and it grieved Him deeply…but they were His children, and just as any parent would…He had to let them go on their way, all the while knowing that they will eventually return to Him….AFTER they come up empty to what the world had to offer.

Now, why did this affect me so much and why did I feel led to write about it??  Lets bring this back to you and me….For practical purposes, I think its safe to say that we live in peace.  Nobody today has told me how and where to worship, stuck a gun in my face for combat, or threatened me in any way….so for the sake of argument, I think I am living in peaceful times.  So was Jeremiah at the time this was written.  God was telling Jeremiah and he is telling us, that we need not worry about those things…yes, they are terrible and they break the heart of God.  Yes, we should pray about them.  But do we need to worry?  Do we need to jump on protesting bandwagons for this cause and that?  Do we need to voice every opinion we have even at the risk of damaging our witness to a watching world?  I don’t think so.

Why not choose the alternative….hold close to the fact that none of this has taken God by surprise; in fact it was written about and happening thousands of years ago.  Lets realize that it is going to get worse because it is prophesied in the Bible and there really isn’t anything we can do about it….and neither can our government.  Wouldn’t it be more in line with the heart of God if we simply….loved?  Loved the ones we find so easy to shake a fist at while we’re on our knees?  Wouldn’t it bless God more to see His children more concerned with what is happening IN their hearts, rather than what is going on AROUND us?  It seems to me, that we are more focused on causes and what is going on around us, than what is going on inside us….and inside me is really the only thing I have control over…..maybe its easier to fill our life with causes and rallying against injustices that we can’t fix, rather than fill our hearts with the only thing that is real.  Love.

Oh God, please take my plank filled eyes off of the things of which I have no control over, and place them in the shadow of the cross….  That I may seek the lost sheep, and point them to truth and the way home.  Break my heart for what breaks yours.  Amen.

Surrender

The call.  I still have it.  It hasn’t been dulled or gone anywhere.  But this past summer in Ethiopia, God showed me something about the call.  I have it.  And so do you.

I had always considered that Matthew 28:19-20 and Acts 1:8 basically said the same thing.

Matthew 28:19-20

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Acts 1:8

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Both are straight quotes from Jesus, both are directed toward the New Testament Church, and both are missional in nature.  But, both are also very different.  Let me explain what God showed me, then I will explain the meaning behind calling this post, surrender.

I had always thought that we are missionaries right where we are planted….be it in our neighborhoods, at our place of employment, at the grocery store….wherever you are at the moment is your mission field.  You could have asked me 4 weeks ago, “Tammi, where is your mission field?”  My response, without hesitation would have been, “Houston, Texas, Sagemont area, Fairmont Jr High, and the college students”.  My response would have been incorrect.  All those places are my Jerusalem as mentioned in Acts 1:8, not my mission field..huge difference.

Every Jesus Christ believing, born again Christian has an obligation to uphold by being His witnesses as mentioned in Acts 1:8. This means that no matter where you are in the world, you will bear witness to being a Christ follower.  We know this is a commandment for all people who are born again because Jesus says “when the Holy Spirit comes on you”, and we know that the Holy Spirit is upon everyone who has confessed Jesus as Lord with their lips and believed it in their heart.  Therefore if you are a believer, Acts 1:8 is for you.  You are expected to be a witness for Christ wherever you go whenever you go there….24/7.  This is non negotiable.  Therefore you are called.  Now on the the Great Commission….

The key word in Matthew 24:19-20 is go.  Two letters make all the difference in this lame attempt at exegeting these verses and showing the difference.  Go. Again, this is a quote and commandment straight from Jesus.  As I see it, we can go in one of two ways:  physically go ourselves, or send somebody to go.  I realize that there are many people who are born again believers who cannot simply jump on a plane and go spend some time in a foreign country or in another state (yes, going can also happen in America).  BUT, that isn’t an excuse.  There was no BUT in the quote…Jesus said “go and make disciples”.  So, if you can’t physically go, you can send.  This is missions.  Actually going someplace out of your comfortable Jerusalem and teaching others about Christ, showing them how to grow in Him, and baptizing them in hopes that others will believe as well.  This is the Great Commission.  Go or send.  As I see it, again, we are all called to do this….which one are you doing?  Are you sending others?  Are you going yourself?  Either way you should be doing something….You my friend, are called.

As I have stated in previous posts, my blog titles are all titles of songs from the band, U2.  This one was especially appropriate today because there is such an element of conviction in that single word.  Surrender.  It can mean so many different things to so many different people.  In light of this post, it issues a charge to you, the reader.  Will you be a witness in your Jerusalem? Your Judea? Samaria and to the Ends of the Earth? I hope so, because you are called.  How about your part of the Great Commission?  Are you going?  Are you sending?  Perhaps you are doing both?  Either way….my brother, my sister……you….are….called!

And what a privilege that is!!

All I Want Is You

God spoke to me today.  In loud silence.  That’s right, He didn’t say a word, and it was truly deafening.

Remember when Jesus heard the news of Lazaras’ death in John 11?  Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. Or how about the time Jesus prayed for God to take the cup from Him so He wouldn’t have to go through the pain He knew was to come?  He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Neither time He heard from God.  Or what about the time the High Priest asked Him who He was?  Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?” But Jesus remained silent.

For several weeks now, I have been distressed over my job situation.  True, the fact that thousands of people across the US are without employment right now, and teachers are getting pink slips in several of our states, does make me thankful that I am actually getting a paycheck.  I don’t take that for granted.  But a couple of months ago, God prompted me to tell my Principal that next year I would not be an Assistant Principal…that I wanted to go back to teaching in a classroom.  The reasons why I chose to work at another school are not something I need to list in a public blog, but I do stand for integrity and character and expect the same from my leadership.  I will leave it at that.

I had a great peace about talking to him, and since that day, I know I did the right thing…..but then it came.  Silence.  God hasn’t said a word since.  I have applied to other districts, attended job fairs, emailed Principals, searched websites of ISD’s, and nothing.  Deafening Silence.  And up until today, I have been growing pretty weary.

If I look back at all three of the above examples, I see one common thread.  God trusted Jesus with His silence.  God knew Jesus could handle it. God knew that His presence with Christ was enough.  God’s greatest demonstrations of silence were in preparation for something so great…words wouldn’t do it justice.  God raised Lazarus from the dead.   He allowed Jesus to die to save us, otherwise, we would have no hope.  He allowed the mocking and torture of Jesus so that scripture could be full filled.  God’s greatest moments, some of His biggest victories came during excruciating bouts of silence….

Does that mean that I am going to get a fat raise, a dream job, and have a super Christian boss that prays with all his staff every morning??  Most likely not..for all I know, I will be teaching at the same school that I am at right now….but it does mean that God trusts me and loves me enough to know I can deal with His silence.  Does this make me proud?  Puffed up? No.  It actually causes me to fear Him even more than I did before and smile from ear to ear.  I am his daughter.  And He loves me more than words can say.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

One Tree Hill

Ever feel like you’re the only one standing for something?  I do.  A lot.  And this week, I think I finally had enough.

Yesterday, I told my principal that I wouldn’t be back next year.  I will finish out the school year, and next year, be at a different school….I have no idea what school that will be or if it will even be in the same district.  Some reading this will not understand why I did it…especially with having no back-up plan.  Maybe that is exactly why God wanted me to do it yesterday…because I have no idea what I am going to do or where I will be working, and that’s what He wants.  He needs me to depend on Him and be content in knowing that He knows, even though I do not.

Maybe you are asking why I quit a seemingly good job on a campus with kids that I dearly love….its got absolutely nothing to do with the kids, I can tell you that.  The easy explanation is simply this:  it was time.

So with that being said, I will pray that the next campus I am on has Christians that I can connect with…maybe even a Christian leader; wouldn’t that be awesome.  I pray the next place is one that I can make a difference for the kingdom in every class period.  I pray that God is already getting the kids and teachers ready for me.  And I pray that I work for and with people of integrity.  I know God has me in the palm of His hand, and He has promised not to let me go.  To say I am not scared would be a lie…jobs aren’t exactly easy to come by….but I know that I did the right thing.

Thanks for reading.  Some prayer would be nice if you think of me.  Pray that whatever I was meant to do will be completed by June, that people know who and what I stood for by the time I leave, and that God gets all the glory for it.  I’ll keep you posted on what He does

Two Hearts Beat As One

First of all, my regular readers will notice that the title, Two Hearts Beat As One, is not keeping with my usual title selections; songs from my favorite band, The Beatles.  New year, new band.  2010′s blogs will officially be titled by songs from another great band, whom I saw this past fall….U2.

The second thing you probably noticed is that you haven’t heard from me since May.  I must confess, God has certainly laid many things for me to write about in the last 7 months…I just haven’t done it.  No excuses….just haven’t “felt” like writing.  Grieving is a long process as I have found out, and sometimes it takes a while for you go really get back into the swing of things.  I’m almost there….

Now to begin.  I like community.  No, not the show on NBC, but real authentic community.  The problem is that we can like and desire it all we want, but we (as a society) really ever experience it.  We think we do.  We do the “Christian” things and call it community.  Things like:

• Eat a meal together (once a week if you’re really good friends)
• E-mail, text, or chat on-line
• Have a party or gathering, invite all those who you haven’t seen in a while, and ‘catch up’
• Hang out with church people (again, usually once a week)
• Go to church together and see each other for 2 hours on Sunday morning

There are others, but these are the ones I find myself most guilty of doing.  I don’t see anything wrong with the things listed above, but lets call a spade a spade…these things are good healthy fellowship.  Not community.  And not what we as children of Christ need and are created for.

Here is what Webster defines as community:

Main Entry: com·mu·ni·ty

1 : a unified body of individuals: as a : state, commonwealth b : the people with common interests living in a particular area; broadly : the area itself <the problems of a large community> c : an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location d : a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society <a community of retired persons> e : a group linked by a common policy f : a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests <the international community> g : a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society <the academic community>
2 : society at large
3 a : joint ownership or participation <community of goods> b : common character : likeness <community of interests> c : social activity : fellowship d : a social state or condition

One could argue that as Christians, we are communal because of the like-mindedness we share with Christ.  And, as some of the definitions above aren’t possible (living together in a larger society would definitely get a bad label…for example, a cult), there is one definition that I believe would satisfy our longings.  Look at definition 3a.  Joint ownership or participation.

Doesn’t the Bible already tell us that we are joint heirs with Christ…so why is joint ownership or participation with each other so difficult? Don’t we long for someone to help carry the burdens and load?  Someone to listen with nonjudgmental ears?  People who will  cry, laugh, love, and hurt right along with us.  Don’t we want others to really do life with? Friends, we really do.  I know I do, and it can’t happen over a weekly meal, 30 second text, or social gathering with 50 other people around.  All of those things mean well…but its not community. Just today, I was talking to a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.  She told me she had stopped attending my church and was gone for over 5 months before anyone took notice and asked where she went or what happened to her.  I felt terrible for her.  I call her my friend, and I should have noticed….

So what is the answer?  In this fast paced world in which we live…where we live by a schedule or calendar, having to make time for fellowship with others…..what do we do?  I don’t have an answer, but I can tell you this.  It’s not going to get any better or easier unless we decide to do something different.  Drop the walls and facades.  Stop being cool.  Leave the world behind.  Leave the blackberry at home.  Unplug the television and computer.  And start getting real.  It’s a great vision…too bad I doubt it will ever come to fruition.

I’m Looking Through You

I’m back.  It’s been a while, but God laid something on my heart to write, so here it is.  I awoke this morning to a dream that I can’t recall, but the first thing that popped into my mind was the verse from Matthew that you will see if you make it to the end of this story….I drove to work, couldn’t get the verse out of my head, and God said write a story, so I did.  I hope it touches your soul.  I call it, The Passage.

I am walking.  I had been running, but what’s the use?  When you’re going no where, you will eventually get there regardless of how fast your legs are moving.  So today, I walk.

My feet are bare; dry and cracked.  Bleeding. The pain is trumped by the feeling in my throat.  I want to swallow, desperate for something to cover the nakedness of my throat. But there is nothing to swallow.  I can produce nothing to put out the fire of my overwhelming thirst. With a frail, raucous voice I call out to You, but again…nothing.  Even the sound of Your name seems bland and lifeless.  And in Your absence, my throat succumbs to the same wasteland in which I am walking….. Desolate.  Lifeless.

On this journey, words resonate through my mind.  Words…the only connection I feel like I have left; for no one can rob me of my thoughts.  Today, the word that pushes itself in front of all the others taking center stage is:  thirst.  I have never wanted anything more than this in my life.  Never knew I needed anything  this badly.  Never viewed it as vital as my own heartbeat.  Water.  The need to be quenched and full.

I keep walking.  Ahead I see it, and it’s beautiful.  Is it a farce?  A mirage in this lonely desert? Family and friends run through the hot sand to greet me, almost knocking me down.  I feel their hugs; give back every smile with one of my own. I crave their intimacy, the verbal and non-verbal communication, and the relational bond that can only come from those whom you allow in. I drink it down, so quickly I can feel my stomach expand increasingly with every gulp.  I’m still thirsty.

Beyond them, I see every possession my heart has ever desired.  Some are shiny and new, others belong to someone else…They beckon, and I run to them, leaving my relationships behind, eager to play with my new toys.  Still the sun beats down, my thirst screaming through my mind louder than ever.  So I drink.  I drink it all, sitting the cistern down to be refilled because I am not satisfied.  I am never satisfied.

Suddenly I see a countless number of emotions and feelings dropping from the sky; slowing down and hovering around me.  So inviting.  So seemingly fulfilling.  I reach out to touch the first one:  passion.  I feel its warmth sear through my fingertips and make its way up my arm; spilling throughout my whole body, creating a desire for more.  Just as I grasp at one, I long for another one and snatch it up with my free hand; fearful they will go away.  But wait…one is missing.  The one I long for the most hasn’t fallen.  I glance up, my eyes burning by the relentless rays of the sun but I don’t care.  I’ve got to have it.  Then I see it, here it comes, and it’s coming to me! Love. It falls and lands on the top of my head.  I can feel its affection and tenderness running down the back of my neck, covering my ears, and finally reaching my mouth.  Again, I drink.  I drink deeply.  I’m gulping as soon as it hits my tongue, tilting my head back, allowing it to run out of the corners of my mouth, and soaking my shirt.  I feel it pulsing throughout my whole body like the blood flowing from my tattered heart.  In that moment, I am filled with love.  But still I thirst….

Again, I start walking.

What seemed like hours passed, thought they were only moments.  Moments where time seems to check out for a bit. Stop.  Cease.  In that moment, I could feel my body emptying.  The memories of the relationships seeped out of my body like sweat coming from my pores.  I felt the sweat.  Running down my face, coating my body.  Dripping its salty moisture onto the possessions I longed for, causing them to rust and decay along with my selfishness.  The emotions I had felt earlier were now traded by thoughts of lust, rage, pride, and abandonment.  My poor, pitiful self had returned, determined to satisfy the thirst that so relentlessly had shown back up.

Suddenly a new emotion arrived:  hate.  A hate that resonated from a heart that had had enough. Enough mediocrity.  Enough pain and strife.  Enough of fighting a battle I could never win.  Enough loss…I hated that I couldn’t fill this thirst inside of me, and I was ready to stop fighting.  I could no longer do it.  I wasn’t good enough.  I needed help…

And there it was.

At first, I though it just another frail attempt at self preservation brought on by my imaginative mind and strong will.  But no, this was different.  In the distance it stood, as bold and brawny as a thousand trees.  It seemed to draw me in; like a magnet to the object of its affection.  I couldn’t walk anymore.  I had to run.  Run hard.  The peace came the moment I entered its shadow.  I wanted to hide there, stay hidden from the scorching sun in the healing shadow of that beautiful cross.  Truth washed over me and I immediately understood.  This thirst, this longing to be filled can only be pleased by what took place on it.  Death.  I had to die.  Die to myself and all that it entailed.

Many things died on that cross as Jesus hung there for me.  For you.  Brutality died so mercy could be born.  The law died so grace could be born.  Rage died so love could be born.  From everything that died on that cross, something else; something Godly, was born.  On that cross, death equals life.

I stood there alone with my thoughts.  I dropped to my knees in reverence for the One who hung there.  As the sun shifted through the hours, I too shifted.  I wanted nothing to take me out of that shadow.  Never again would I walk without the assurance of the cross before me.  Never again.

And then I realized….I wasn’t thirsty.  I was utterly alone, void of anything or anybody and I was as full as I had ever been in my entire life.  Jesus.  His death.  My death.  His life filling mine.  This is it….this is all….this is everything.  And it’s more than enough.

The things I now longed for were the things He longed for.  The relationships I would have were with those whom He wanted me to walk with.  The things I possessed were things He provided.  The feelings and security I had, came directly from a heart of purity and genuine motive.  All because of His glory and the furtherance of His Kingdom.  I thirst, He fills, I tell, and His name is made famous.

This is life…….Are you thirsty?

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6:33

Things We Said Today

Do you live for this day, or do you live for that day?

It’s not often that I can sit through a church service or see something spiritual and honestly say it impacted me to a point of life changing.  Partially because we’ve watered  the phrase life changing experience down to something almost worldly; and it usually takes something pretty relevant for me to want to alter my life and bring something ‘new’ into it.  I’m not big into change…..

Recently, a friend of mine asked me to take a look at a DVD about stewardship…..not what we would typically think of when the word stewardship is mentioned, but rather God’s view of what we did with what we had while here on earth.  It was a skit that told the story of one man’s encounter with the Bema, or more traditionally known as the Judgment Seat of Christ.

Paul writes:  ⁶Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷We live by faith, not by sight. ⁸We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. ¹⁰For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.   1 Corinthians 5:6-10 What is Paul saying in this passage?  He is basically telling the Corinth Christians that it would be much better to be in heaven with Jesus, but since they aren’t, that still doesn’t excuse the common goal of pleasing Him.  The motive for a Christian is to bring a smile to Jesus’ face (v.9), regardless of where we are…..

Now, hear me out, this isn’t a judgment where our sins get judged…Jesus already took care of that and they won’t even come into play.  This is the time where each Christian will give account for the things he or she did with what God gave them while they were still on earth.  This is where we get our crowns.  Our reward.  Where the bride of Christ will finally come face to face with the one who paid it all…Jesus.  This should be a time of great celebration….

This day = today        That day = Judgment day

On the sermon on the mount, Jesus said to store up treasures in heaven where moths and rust won’t destroy and thieves won’t steal.  We are going to be judged on what we placed in the heavenly realm, not what we gathered here.  That is the first thing we will be judged on.  Next, we will be judged on what we did with what we were given.  Did we take the skills, talents, resources, gifts, etc. and use them for Kingdom purposes? We will be evaluated on what we had, and what we did with it.  Lastly, we will be evaluated on our motives.  Scripture tells us that man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at our heart.  God wants to know why we did what we did.

To recap:  1. Treasures 2.Talents 3. Motives.

This realization has literally broken my heart as I think about all the time I have squandered on things of this world.  I have so much more to give.  I have so much more love to share.  I have so much more to do with my time.  And I long to do it for the glory of my Jesus.

One thing God really convicted me of today is the need to invest in people.  I want to love better and deeper.  I want to take the gifts God has blessed me with and use them to further the gospel with His people.  I want to teach the untaught.  I want to encourage the downtrodden.  I want to do this when no one is watching except for my God.  I want to love as Jesus loved and I want to be all about making a difference for that day.  Yes, I want to get those crowns…so I can give them right back to Him.

Create in me a clean heart, oh God.  And renew an steadfast spirit in me…Psalm 51:10

A Little Help From My Friends

I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, “Where’ve you been?” He said, “Ask anything.”

Where were you, when everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who’s ever known
Who I am, who I’m not and who I wanna to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me. -The Fray

The word Amistad means friend.  I see this song as a conversation I recently had with God, asking where He has been and what took Him so long.  Actually, He was there all along through the counsel and prayers of friends.  This post is written for one friend in particular.

Tanks.