Eight Days a Week

Eight days a week, I looooooove you. Eight days a week is not enough to show I care….Nothing inherent or philosophical, but powerful none the less.

Beginning May 17th, I started using Beatles songs to title all my blogs. I didn’t really think I would find a title for today’s entry; simply because I didn’t want the serious nature of what is on my heart to be overlooked. However, this song ties in nicely with what I want to say.

Yesterday in church, we sang a song called Hosanna. I looked around the room and saw hands in the air, and voices raised to God…it was a very typical site to behold if you attend my church. The only difference is that I couldn’t sing the words. Not because I felt sinful, or that I needed to repent of something..it wasn’t that kind of feeling. It was a feeling that if I sang them, they would be completely dishonest. The lyrics are as follows:

I see a generation, rising up to take the place with selfless faith,

with selfless faith. I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek

we’re on our knees, we’re on our knees.

If I really get honest with myself and with God, I have to say that I really don’t see these things. And it breaks my heart. You see, I am part of the generation that is supposed to be rising up with selfless faith. Let’s be honest. We are, and continuing to become a generation that is more me centered than any other that has come before us. Our infatuation with having things comfortable and fast have become so ‘normal’ that we can’t even see the wrong in it anymore. A near revival? Seriously? More like near judgement on us and our country, especially as I think about the upcoming election and the state of our economy. Maybe revival would be coming if we really did seek God. Just put everything else out of the way and really seek Him. Do we really even know what that means? Do we even know what that looks like? When is the last time we have been on our knees begging to see a glimpse of God for the sheer Majesty of Him and not just so He would meet a need? You know why Moses got a glimpse of Him? Or why Abram had a promise made to him that would change the world? Or why Noah was chosen for the daunting task of Ark builder? Because they were serious. They were of a generation that wanted God and would stop at nothing else. They wanted not His hands and what He could give them…they wanted His face. They just wanted Him. They could have sang that song yesterday morning with no personal conviction.

I am nothing more that a ragamuffin writer sharing this with you, the ragamuffin reader. I am no better or no worse, and this post isn’t a cynical reason to vent. Its coming from a heart that so desperately wants to cry out those words to Jesus and know they really are true. But today, I can’t.

I have the privilege of mentoring several young ladies in the college ministry. I know some of them will absolutely understand what I am saying. I was speaking to Leah last night about this burden and ironically, she said that song came on in her car the day before and she had the exact same thoughts. Maybe God is trying to tell us all something. Maybe He really wants our love Eight days a week.

Peace.

Good Day Sunshine

Autumn winds are blowing again.

The fall of the year brings with it a world of emotions as rich and varied as the notes of an organ. The spring is more stimulating and fuller of expectation, but there is about the fall a quiet strength which the spring lacks. It is not a wonder that so many serious-minded people love the fall…

We are not much given to moralizing on natural objects, but who can fail to notice the parallel between God’s great lovely world and the little tribes of flesh and blood who inhabit it? Is it not plain that every human being runs through the same stages as the seasons? Spring, the time of childhood and youth when all the world is big with promise, a promise which the later years invariably fail to keep. Summer, the period of full power when life multiplies and it is hard to believe that it can ever end. Autumn, with its repose after toil, a gracious tapering off of our fuller powers, a kindly preparation for our longer rest. Winter, when the leaves have dropped away and the last sign of life has disappeared. Then only faith remains to assure us that there will be for us a bright tomorrow.

We Travel an Appointed Way, by AW Tozer

Get Back

I’m sitting in what is quickly becoming one of my favorite places in Houston, Agora.  I like the ambiance. I like that it is on Westheimer.  I like that there is a guy across the room that keeps looking over at me and smiling, and I like wondering what kind of music is coming through his ear buds.  But the truth is, if this place didn’t offer free wifi, nobody would be here..Not a single person is here who is not looking at a glowing screen….we are such a computer laden generation and it really saddens me.  The power of human contact has been replaced by technology.  Words are now transmitted via text messages and the reader is left wondering what was meant by what they read…this is because as of today, emotions aren’t sent cyberly…but just give it time.

Phone calls are essentially a thing of the past and only used to ask a question or two…and the fact that we have virtually any piece of information at our fingertips just aids in making us more and more lazy, complacent, and expecting that if it doesn’t come immediately its not real or right.

I wonder what God thinks about all this?  I’m really glad He didn’t sent me a text message asking to be my Savior.  I might not have said OK.

Peace.

Twist and Shout

I hate that I am writing a post about Ike because I know I will be one of the many trying to “recap” the events…hopefully this post will leave the melodrama out of it and what I hope the reader to see will be seen clearly…

I chose to stay in my apartment and experience my first hurricane.  The actual storm hit around midnight and I had already gone to bed.  As I lay in bed, I could hear the roof creaking and popping.  I could see the mini blinds moving as the wind on the other side caused the glass to shake and vibrate.  I finally put in ear plugs to block out the noise, but that did nothing for the shaking and vibration of my bed.

As I laid there I realized that on the other side of that window was utter chaos.  The wind was doing things to the trees that i had only seen on tv.  If I had simply stepped out on my balcony, I would have chanced getting blown off.  But there I lay.  I was safe in the walls of my apartment. Nothing was harming me and the stress and chaos of what was happening outside could not harm me…..unless I made a poor choice and opened the window, or walked outside.   This is no different compared to the spiritual battle that we are surrounded by every moment of our lives. The chaos is all around us because of Satan and the sin that haunts us daily.  If we choose to open that window and peek out, or even crack open the door to see what is going on, the enemy can get a foothold and have his way as subtly as the wind.  Like that wind, we can’t actually see it, but its harm is still there…the enemy does things to harm us in seemingly small ways, but ultimately it can result in our destruction.  If we stay in the hands of Jesus, he will, like the walls of my apartment, protect us from what is going on all around us.

As I drove around today looking at the damage caused by the wind, I am reminded of people in my life who have opened the window or stepped out into the storm just to “check things out”.  What seemed harmless has lead to pain and destruction in many of their lives…I am not immuned to this, but hopefully what I have learned through my mistakes will help point others to the true source of peace.  Jesus.

Thanks Ike for reassurring me that He really does have the whole world in His hands…especially my world.

Peace.

Getting Better

I just came off of a very bad weekend.  Very bad indeed.  It actually started immediately after leaving Ethiopia, and has catapulted into a spiritual attack that I can hardly bear…This weekend, amidst the tears, prayer, pleading with God, and encouragement from mentors and friends who are fighting with me, I felt some rest and peace today.  Its not nearly over, but the peace was much needed.

I’m not a bit surprised, and actually expected it.  I just came off an amazing summer, am really being used and influential in the college ministry, am planning for phase two of the ESL trip for next summer, have stepped into a different job with more hurts and needs, and I am basically pretty content with my life.

If you read this, and you know me, I could use some prayer right now.  Thanks a lot…now to the fun part of this blog:

Tomorrow I hit what many call the half way point in life…its my 40th earthly birthday (but i’m only 19 spiritually ).  I gotta admit, its nothing like I thought it would be and I think people make way too big of a deal about it.  Its actually pretty cool to be able to look back on my life and see all that has happened, at such a young age.  Through the bumps and potholes of my barely traveled road, I have been fortunate enough to pick up some things and I thought I would share….

• Age is really a state of mind.  I feel no differently than I did when I turned 20.
• It is very important to figure out who you are, and be that person.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.
• I serve a God of second, third, forth, fifth, INFINITY, chances.  And He loves me in spite of me.
• I now give advise and wisdom based on life experiences and the Word of God, not opinion and what I think.
• The older I get, the more I realize that I don’t have it all together, and I’m strangely ok with it….
• All Hawaiians don’t surf.  Its a myth…But they do all eat Spam.
• I apparently don’t look my age.  I’m not sure why this is, but I have heard it said, and even read in the Bible lately, that lack of stress and the seeking of wisdom will help in the age process…and I laugh a lot too.
• Life isn’t about me, nor is it about you.  Deal with it and move on.  Let God be God and give Him his deserved glory.
• At some point, parents revert back to children and seemingly forget the simple things they need to do, thus relying on their adult children to remind them and take care of things.
• Be careful what you wish for, it just might come true.
• China smells bad.  Flat out, no excuses, the country stinks…but I still have a soft spot for Chinese people and will go back if God says to.
• God uses me to do things I would have never dreamed possible 20 years ago.  He will use you too if you let Him.
• Letting Him means you have to give up your rights.  You really have no rights so that shouldn’t be very hard to do…
• I always shuttered to think that my missions work would take me to Africa.  I was scared.  Now I can’t wait to get back there.

Yes, tomorrow I enter another chapter…phase…realm…whatever you want to call it, of my journey.  Its been fun so far, even the really stupid choices and the bad seasons have made me the woman of God that I am today.  Even though there is huge room for improvements, I am looking forward to seeing what God does next.

Maybe I should have called this post “what a long strange trip its been….”

Peace, and may you grow old gracefully

Dear Prudence (pt.1)

Websters defines prudence as “having discretion in practical affairs”.  This seemingly falls in line with the topic of today’s post:  Proverbs 1-6.

Our pastor issued a challenge for us to read a Proverbs chapter per day as we begin studying the book as a congregation.  Rather than write about what I learned daily, I found it more fitting to sum up my first week.  Some of the truths are quite practical, and others very profound:

Chapter 1 – Knowledge can only begin when we genuinely fear the Lord.  This chapter concludes with a promise of safety and ease for those who fear the Lord and possess this wisdom.  Sooo…fear brings peace?  I stumbled upon yet another Biblical paradigm:  Fear = Ease.

Chapter 2 – v.3-4  He is saying to be relentless and not give up.  This wisdom is worth the pursuit.  When we chase Him we will find Him and walk in victory, and when we remain here (in righteousness), then the wisdom will continue….and thus we will be connected.

Chapter 3 – Being wise brings good health:  healthy heart, healthy relationships.  The most interesting thing I have found thusfar is the references in v.3 and v.21.  Both places he refers to wearing two things around your neck.  V.3 he says love and faithfulness.  V. 21 he says judgement and discernment.  When I think about something on your neck, I thing of something round that has no beginning and no end…the things the writer speaks of coincide with one another ( love and faithfulness) (judgement and discernment).  When you keep these things around your neck, what are you actually doing?  Wearing them?  Keeping them close to your head?  Protecting yourself?  Adorning yourself with something beautiful? All of the above.  I think these implications are profound and totally worth discussion…

Chapter 4 – I’m intrigued to know why the writer refers to wisdom as “she” or in some translations “her”.  Again, totally worth discussion…  This passage is saying that we need to cling to wisdom as a place of refuge.  We should stay focused on the task and forth going.  This ensures a straight path and purity in His sight.

Chapter 5 – I find it interesting that the first reference of a specific sin that will distract wisdom is the sin of lust….in the previous chapters, he mentions unbelief, keeping focused, etc (which is sin), but this is the first one mentioned in depth….I wonder why lust, and not pride?

Chapter 6 – This one tells us the importance of making things right is we have wronged another person (I actually saw this lived out in the life of one of my friends this past week).  Also the analogy he used regarding the ant is awesome….something so small and seemingly signifigant like the ant finds it necessary to plan ahead, as should we.   V.21 shows us another reference to the neck….interesting…

Thats a lot of stuff for one week.  I really wish I had someone to help me unpack it all…..I will write again next week when I have some more chapters to ponder.  In the meantime, I welcome any thoughts or insight.

Peace.

In My Life

You ever have a day where you just reflect on the now?  Well today was that day for me and here is what I came up with:  I absolutely love the life God has blessed me with.  All of it.  Every little part, even the ugly ones that God has allowed, have been used to bring Him glory.

I love the family God has given me.  I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and my home life was often times pretty jacked up…but it was mine.  It was the family God gave me, and it has made me who I am today…I’ve dealt with it, asked God to use it to bless others and He has.

I love the friends God has blessed me with.  I have the absolute best friends in the world.  From those I still keep in touch with from 20+ years back, to those formed just in the past few months, these are the people God has given me…and they are treasures to me.  And many are like family; especially those I have here in Houston.  I love them so much.

I love my job.  I have been equipped, shaped, and called to teach.  God uses me everyday to pour into the lives of young people as well as my colleagues.  This absolutely blows my mind, but I no longer question it, I just roll with it and thank Him for it.

I love my ministry.  God uses me in the lives of those younger than me as well as peers.  I work daily with college students in some capacity, and soon will be teaching adults again on Sunday mornings.  I also work along side men and women who have a heart for missions on the Sagemont Missions team.  My calling to missions has never changed, and God gives me the opportunity to be on mission with Him everyday of my life.  I spend my summers in foreign countries, and in the meantime, educate and train people about the importance of sharing your faith and how to do it….

I love that I am single.  I look back and realize that God has given me all this to do as a single person…had I been married, I would still doing Kingdom work and it would still be worthwhile, but it wouldn’t look like this. I love the freedom He has blessed me with.  The freedom to GO when He says GO, and in the meantime, have the best husband in the world while I wait for my earthly one…Jesus.

I could go on and on…my passion for music, books, the beach, baseball, my cat, writing, ice cream, thinking……but I can’t leave you with the impression that I have no problems and have it “all together”.  That is the farthest thing from the truth.  I hurt. I get down.  I need.  I get discouraged and frustrated.  I have problems just like everyone else.  The difference is that I am learning how to view those problems and sufferings as blessings and see how I can glorify God in the middle of it all.  Life really is all about God and how we can continue to get smaller and smaller while He gets bigger and bigger.

Thanks for reading.

Peace and Love.

Don’t Pass Me By

This is why I do what I do.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of the spoken word.

Peace and Belief.

Magical Mystery Tour

Today we sang my new favorite song in the Jesus Genre of cheesy songs. Unfortunately, its a
Hillsong…song….which also means that its trendy, but using the word Mystery to describe God is mysteriously cool to me.

Peace.

80’s Pop: Here I Go Again

Satellite radio is where its at. A plethora of songs, that I haven’t heard in years, keep me fairly close to memory lane just about every time I get in my Jeep. The song, Here I Go Again, by Whitesnake is the featured song in this post, because its message is in direct correlation with what God has been revealing to me as of late….

I don’t know where I’m goin
but I sure know where I’ve been
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again.

Tho’ I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I’m looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
‘cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time.

Just another heart in need of rescue
waiting on love’s sweet charity
an’ I’m gonna hold on for the rest of my days
‘cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go.

An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time.

Here I go again on my own
goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
‘cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go,
here I go again

I’ve often prided myself on being independent and developing that characteristic at a very early age. Partly because of my up-bringing and partly because I am an only child. This song reeks of that very thing..walking alone and making it by yourself…but note what lead singer, David Coverdale is really saying…he is saying that this is not a new path and that he is going down it once again. He has done this before and now he is going on alone…again. How lonely that must be. To be caught up in a viscous cycle of aloneness. God has been showing me that being independent might not be as good as I think. God created us to be dependent. We were never meant to be islands, unconnected to anything else…we were created to be connected to Him and others. In a way, the only thing good about being independant is that it gives us the opportunity to think for ourselves, and hopefully to choose dependance on God….so independance should = dependance…

hummm..something to ponder. Enjoy the video and song.

Peace.