trying to make Him famous » Beatles

I need you

Tammi — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:55:47 +0000

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, `Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.

AW Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Eight Days a Week

Tammi — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 22:30:08 +0000

Eight days a week, I looooooove you. Eight days a week is not enough to show I care….Nothing inherent or philosophical, but powerful none the less.

Beginning May 17th, I started using Beatles songs to title all my blogs. I didn’t really think I would find a title for today’s entry; simply because I didn’t want the serious nature of what is on my heart to be overlooked. However, this song ties in nicely with what I want to say.

Yesterday in church, we sang a song called Hosanna. I looked around the room and saw hands in the air, and voices raised to God…it was a very typical site to behold if you attend my church. The only difference is that I couldn’t sing the words. Not because I felt sinful, or that I needed to repent of something..it wasn’t that kind of feeling. It was a feeling that if I sang them, they would be completely dishonest. The lyrics are as follows:

I see a generation, rising up to take the place with selfless faith,

with selfless faith. I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek

we’re on our knees, we’re on our knees.

If I really get honest with myself and with God, I have to say that I really don’t see these things. And it breaks my heart. You see, I am part of the generation that is supposed to be rising up with selfless faith. Let’s be honest. We are, and continuing to become a generation that is more me centered than any other that has come before us. Our infatuation with having things comfortable and fast have become so ‘normal’ that we can’t even see the wrong in it anymore. A near revival? Seriously? More like near judgement on us and our country, especially as I think about the upcoming election and the state of our economy. Maybe revival would be coming if we really did seek God. Just put everything else out of the way and really seek Him. Do we really even know what that means? Do we even know what that looks like? When is the last time we have been on our knees begging to see a glimpse of God for the sheer Majesty of Him and not just so He would meet a need? You know why Moses got a glimpse of Him? Or why Abram had a promise made to him that would change the world? Or why Noah was chosen for the daunting task of Ark builder? Because they were serious. They were of a generation that wanted God and would stop at nothing else. They wanted not His hands and what He could give them…they wanted His face. They just wanted Him. They could have sang that song yesterday morning with no personal conviction.

I am nothing more that a ragamuffin writer sharing this with you, the ragamuffin reader. I am no better or no worse, and this post isn’t a cynical reason to vent. Its coming from a heart that so desperately wants to cry out those words to Jesus and know they really are true. But today, I can’t.

I have the privilege of mentoring several young ladies in the college ministry. I know some of them will absolutely understand what I am saying. I was speaking to Leah last night about this burden and ironically, she said that song came on in her car the day before and she had the exact same thoughts. Maybe God is trying to tell us all something. Maybe He really wants our love Eight days a week.

Peace.

Can’t Buy Me Love

Tammi — Sat, 31 May 2008 17:44:23 +0000

I chose the title today because that statement has become so very true these last couple of years. I used to be in the corporate rat race, making my way to the top, and achieving success at a very young age. Those of you that know my testimony know my story, so I wont go there…but we live in a society where people will do whatever they can for the all mighty dollar. Not only do they have jobs that they don’t love, but they do almost anything to keep and climb in that job, just to increase the zeros at the end of their earnings. Its sad.

Yesterday was the last day with my students at GPMS, and today was the last day with my colleagues. I got more hugs than I could count yesterday and a genuine sense of knowing that kids had grown because of Jesus. Today, again, more hugs and some tears. I can’t tell you how many teachers donated stuff for the Ethiopia trip next week…I honestly can’t wait to give it all away. I looked around my empty classroom this morning; the bookshelves were bare as well as the walls, the desks were empty and the room was quiet. I thought of all the smiles and love that God brought in and out of the door, and I prayed for the teacher who would be serving there next year. I prayed that the students would feel the Holy Spirit there and the teacher would show them Jesus no matter the cost. I prayed for God to get the glory and that His name would continue to be made great on that campus. I prayed for peace because I honestly love that school and all it stands for.

Closure.

Yesterday, I went over to my new place of service, GPHS, and unloaded some of my things. The place is HUGE. I don’t know anyone and they don’t know me…but as I was putting boxes in my office, I knew that this was my next step and that this was where God wanted me to be. This is deeper water, but my Life Preserver is the same. I will cling to Him everyday and pray that these high school kids will see Him in me, and become better readers in the meantime.

As you read this, I hope you understand one thing: what you do with your life isn’t about you or what you make of yourself…its about Him and constantly seeking His calling over your life. Remember, the need is the call and when you see a need that YOU can fill..thats your calling. The money, the provisions, the support, the encouragement, all that stuff will come…. It will come His way and in His time. Remember that things aren’t always as we picture them or how they seem…nobody could have told me 5 years ago that I would end up being a school teacher, and I have no idea when my love for kids began…but here it is….

Do what God created you to do, and no way will you be disappointed. All glory to Him as I prepare this week to take my calling halfway across the globe and spend half my summer in Ethiopia. I can’t wait to see what He does.

Peace.

You say goodbye, and I say hello

Tammi — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:11:15 +0000

I was at Kroger today and I passed a man talking on his cell phone. To the person he was speaking to he said, “Holy Hell”.

Can you say oxymoron?