God spoke to me today. In loud silence. That’s right, He didn’t say a word, and it was truly deafening.
Remember when Jesus heard the news of Lazaras’ death in John 11? Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. Or how about the time Jesus prayed for God to take the cup from Him so He wouldn’t have to go through the pain He knew was to come? He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Neither time He heard from God. Or what about the time the High Priest asked Him who He was? Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?” But Jesus remained silent.
For several weeks now, I have been distressed over my job situation. True, the fact that thousands of people across the US are without employment right now, and teachers are getting pink slips in several of our states, does make me thankful that I am actually getting a paycheck. I don’t take that for granted. But a couple of months ago, God prompted me to tell my Principal that next year I would not be an Assistant Principal…that I wanted to go back to teaching in a classroom. The reasons why I chose to work at another school are not something I need to list in a public blog, but I do stand for integrity and character and expect the same from my leadership. I will leave it at that.
I had a great peace about talking to him, and since that day, I know I did the right thing…..but then it came. Silence. God hasn’t said a word since. I have applied to other districts, attended job fairs, emailed Principals, searched websites of ISD’s, and nothing. Deafening Silence. And up until today, I have been growing pretty weary.
If I look back at all three of the above examples, I see one common thread. God trusted Jesus with His silence. God knew Jesus could handle it. God knew that His presence with Christ was enough. God’s greatest demonstrations of silence were in preparation for something so great…words wouldn’t do it justice. God raised Lazarus from the dead. He allowed Jesus to die to save us, otherwise, we would have no hope. He allowed the mocking and torture of Jesus so that scripture could be full filled. God’s greatest moments, some of His biggest victories came during excruciating bouts of silence….
Does that mean that I am going to get a fat raise, a dream job, and have a super Christian boss that prays with all his staff every morning?? Most likely not..for all I know, I will be teaching at the same school that I am at right now….but it does mean that God trusts me and loves me enough to know I can deal with His silence. Does this make me proud? Puffed up? No. It actually causes me to fear Him even more than I did before and smile from ear to ear. I am his daughter. And He loves me more than words can say.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
trying to make Him famous 